Wk 119 – Malas – Anavamala
Malas are stains or impurities on the lens of our perception of our heart, mind and body. They are a form of ignorance that ties us to our limited-self, insinuating that to overcome them, we become un-limited. This was described by Abinavagupta, 950-1016 CE Mystic, Poet, Philosopher wrote the Tantraloka about Kashmir Shivaism.
Anavamala – Connected to the Heart, the ego identifies by relating to “I Feel”
Mayiyamala – Connected to the Mind, the dog identifies by relating to “I Know”
Karmamala – Connected to the Body, the ego identifies by relating to “I Do”
Anavamala is an expression of our moods, emotional attributes that ties us to the limited self of “I am my feelings.” Linked to feeling of being unworthy, undeserving, improper, not enough, shameful, small, source of feeling incomplete, insecure, sad and lonely. Anavamala is the primary cause of suffering, ignorance at the level of the heart where we are in bondage to a limited belief of who we feel we are.
Ana means small or tiny in Sanskrit, insignificant and certainly not as big or expansive as the Divine. It is the source of unworthiness and feeling that our lives are meaningless, that something is missing, we lack connection beyond our limited view point and through the lens of Anavamala we feel there is something deeply wrong with us. There is a separateness of us and other, of us and source or Divine or Grace or God…whatever you call it…LOVE.
However, in us all when we get quiet enough and turn inwards, there is a deep felt pull of feeling there is something missing from viewing life through this lens, that this state of perceived feeling doesn’t feel right. There is an intuition that you feel there is more to life, more to you, more to your relationships, more than the stain of “I am my feelings.”
When we practice, we connect to something vast, something beyond what we were culturally conditioned to value. There comes a time where your soul is done with the phase of contracting and reducing yourself to “I am my feelings” and begins to turn inward towards your own expansion beyond your fleeting feelings. We have an awakening, a clearing to see more into the reality of all things. This is a Saktipata, which is said to be a descent of Power or Grace that wakes us up from our bondage of limiting ourselves to our feelings, thoughts and actions. A sudden awakening occurs and is said to be experience either as bathing in the light of compassionate love as waves of bliss surging in the body or of an energy shooting up to the spine and exploding in the head as unsurpassed joy.
Purnata is a Sanskrit word for the state of all-encompassing fullness, oneness and wholeness of being. The lens becomes transparent and the awakening clears the path towards total integration with the Divine reality. This is not enlightenment, however the beginning of the journey. It is meant to inspire you to continue to practice, to allow your feelings to arise however not misidentify them as you. By touching this joy that lives within your heart your find it accompanies you to all your roles, duties and responsibilities FEELING the connected to the Divine as an expression through you.
The purpose of Sadhana, our practice, is to remove the stain of Anavamala this limited identity to our hearts feelings that obscures the light of your own being, soul, essence. As a result of your practice, you FEEL a pull toward the truth deep within you in which you can rely on and trust. You as a seeker see through a clear lens and feel a deeper purpose to your lived experience.
